Flip This Bitch! (Updated)

Since it's post-Valentine's Day and I don't have to be nice anymore, I've got some hot tips for anyone hoping to keep a guy or girl in their lives.

1. Give people their space. Yes. I know. Romance. It will not last. Give people their space and you'll enjoy the fact that you can still be your own person while also being part of a super cute couple. Word.

2. Dudes, do NOT cry in front of your ladies. Not even if your sports team loses. You would think that would be the slightest of exceptions but no. Okay maybe if a close family member dies, but NOT your cat. Maybe if you were cheated on and that person just told you. Yes go ahead and cry those baby tears. but NOT your cat. And please god forbid don't ever cry because people aren't paying attention to you. This goes for both ladies and men, though ladies have the edge because they have boobs and guys can just say we're nuts anyway (mostly and sometimes true). Guys have no excuse though. Sorry.
I'm sad that Fluffy died yes but I've been through seven or eight cats and yes I miss them but they will be waiting for me in heaven and I can be a crazy cat lady for eternity. GLORIOUS. I had a boyfriend, no make that TWO boyfriends that called me crying becuase their cat died. No. No! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. ARE YOU GETTING THIS YET? NO CATS NO CRYING. I HATE YOUR CAT. LOOK HOW STUPID IT LOOKS. STUPID CAT! -----------------> DARTH KILL CAT. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I mean....YEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Pussy.

Anyway. Onto step 3. I'm tired. To be continued...

PS. I just tried a delicious SEMLA for Lent from SVENSKA. TAKK LOUISE!
After I eat everyone's stupid cats I will have another one of these decliosities from FIKA in Midwtown. MMMMMMMMMarzipan! PSS Fun Fact: King Adolf Frederick of Sweden died of digestion problems on February 12, 1771 after consuming a meal consisting of lobster, caviar, sour cabbage, smoked herring and champagne, which was topped off by 14 servings of his favourite dessert: a semla served in a bowl of hot milk. HOLY SHIZZ! What a way to go. A moment of silence please for King Adolf. Nice job assface. Just kidding! I love SWEDEN!

PSSS. I'm like, really good at HTML-ing.