Thursday, February 1, 2007

Boston Thwarts Terrorism, Embarasses Me


Last night, while enjoying a leisurely dinner at Tavern on the Square, I got a text from my friend Aaron back home in Washington saying "good work Boston." Yeah yeah yeah. Half of Boston was shut down because of the threat of exploding Adult Swim characters. Blah blah blah. Listen, it's not MY fault that not everyone in this great city is a tuned in to pop culture as the rest of us. What do you expect in a city that shuts its public transportation down at 12:30am, doesn't allow drink specials and takes 357 years to complete a new highway system? Boston is, at its core, is a conservative, old- fashioned city, thinly veiled as forward-thinking, and now everyone knows it. Thank you to the asshole that called 911 about a "suspicious device!" Oh tipster, tell me, do you spend your nights pondering life in a post 9/11 world? Is your garage stock-piled with cans of string beans and distilled water in case Iraq does in fact have weapons of mass destruction? Is "If you see something, say something" tatooed on your forearm? Do you take comfort in the fact that you made the entire city look like a bunch of paranoid wackos?

As my friend Aaron so nicely put it "Well the outdoor ads are in place in ten cities and you guys are the only one to think Meatwad was going to send up a mushroom cloud, so you can't talk shit about anywhere else for a while."

Aghhh. Does this mean I can't make fun of L.A for a few months? Great.

No comments: